Krista Gabbard

Hi. I am Krista. I started this blog to explore my long desire to “be a writer”. It is more of an internal longing to put my ideas, poems, or everyday random logic to paper. I usually write in journals (I have a handful of them lying around my home) or I have Word documents on my hard drive, personal computer or even on my work computer. I have not had the same desire to write in journals or in a plain boring word document. So, I started this blog site for the visual aesthetic and how it feels “polished” when I complete the paragraph.

OK, so here is what you should know. I love to cuss… I love the word fuck and routinely say “what up bitches.”  This is only when I am happy or playful. I find humor in most everything—this is a great tool to keep things light and fun. I suspect this started as defense mechanism I created when I was a kid to deal with childhood hardships. Now this silliness is  ingrained in my personality &  I am not sure I know how to let it go. With this foolishness I have proven humility, an ability to be approachable and a mechanism to not take life so seriously. Resilience to trauma via humor! It serves me well, except when circumstances call for anger and rage. Yes, there are things we all should get angry about, so when this happens to me, I just keep it inside, brewing, waiting, until I can write it down or humor it out.

Everyday I read or encounter circumstances that are creating a space of sadness, anger, or rage. Mostly with the on-goings of the world we live in. I can rationalize that it is the menopause, or it is the aging process of watching the world repeat the same mistakes over and over. Or it is just my brain needing to vent and understand my contribution and place in all this mess.

I feel as though I am at war with myself. This is the tool I wish to use to play out the battles in my head. I will express the fury in my passion, the sadness in my empathy, the joy in anger, & the love in my loneliness. My desire to write, my dream of placing the creativity of my soul in word, will be here. Internally I feel unsettled. So, with this venture  I also hope to merge a fuller more complete person. One that is not trying to be one thing or another. Just me… let me write that again…

I want to be  Just Me.