During awake hours I gravitate toward comfort, stability, routine, things that ground me to this world. I do this because inside I feel like chaos, unfiltered boundless energy that I do my best to manage.

I find inspiration, or distraction depending on your perspective, almost everywhere. I watch a movie or TV show, & a phrase will stand out from the rest, I grab my phone and I am Googling and researching. I read a quote, I am in my head with ideas and thoughts. I take a walk, see the sunrise and I am ready to paint. For the record I prefer reading & writing to painting…. you get the idea though!

When I was younger sharing my poetry or my words was tough. It was like bearing my soul and I was so fearful. I am a person that seeks internal validation instead of external validation. This is a source of courage, fearlessness and occasionally foolishness for me. However sharing my words left me raw, exposed, and without any facility to navigate the vulnerability that followed. I am the kind of person that absorbs everything, all day, all night, data over loading my brain. I have heard it referenced as being an Empath. I do not identify with that, I am more logic than emotions. I find that when I share, it generates energy, connection, and others create energy & data in response. Its overwhelming, loud, and intensifies my natural chaotic existence. Without a barrier, I am in overdrive, I feel exhausted, and historically, I withdraw.

What does that matter? Well because now I feel like it is time. I am the most stable I have ever been in my life. I have accomplished all my practical life goals, I have a supportive husband, supportive family that believes in me, & I am comfortable with being exposed. I finally understand the strength within my vulnerability . This blog is to put that idea into action! Thanks for reading!